dog breath and weiners!!!

Toby, my dog, has some kickin breath... I don't mean to be gross, but I honestly think he licks his rear from the time I leave for work until I get home.  When I get home he wants to be all up in my face *gag*  I think that he is pissed at me and this is his payback... BUTT BREATH in my face! 

Speaking of body parts... I take Ad to get breakfast this morning, like I have a million times before.  She must have had on her thinking cap today.  I get the pigs in a blanket aka sausage roll thingy for her.  Maybe today should have been a donut day because her head was trying to figure out how this was made and what was it made out of.  Here we go... again...
Ad:  Mom, this is a pig in a blanket?
Me:  Yes
Ad:  Can you make these at home?
Me:  Yes
Ad:  You got bread and weiners?
Me:  No, but I will buy some.
Ad:   These weiners have cheese in them *pause* weiners and cheese *pause* where do weiners come from?
Me:  Pigs
Ad:  I AM EATING A PIGS WEINER like toby's?
Me:  {i almost wrecked from laughing so hard}NO Ad!  They are called weiners, but not that weiner!!!

We had to have yet another come to Jesus talk!

You are probably wondering how she knows this, please let me explain.  She came home from the pumpkin patch telling me how she milked a cow.  No biggie, right?  I am holding Toby (5lb yorkie) in my arms and I guess she thought his weiner was a cow boob.  Yep, before I knew it she was showing me how to milk a cow by tugging his... yep!  It was one of those moments where it happens so fast you have no control and just gasp or scream.  YEP, we had a talk after we washed her hands!  That is how she knows what a weiner is!!!  Why don't we stop there for the night before I start *gagging* again!